Why Endings Don’t Exist

Upon returning home from a ten-day Italian vacation, I didn’t feel sadness, nostalgia, or any of the natural futility that comes along with endings, like, when you were a kid, and all the guests had left after a birthday party. Nor did I feel anxiety in catching up on weeks of work emails. It’s not that the sights weren’t breathtaking and completely new to me, the food wasn’t delicious, and the people I met didn’t grow to become my family–because they were, it was, and they did. But though my travel has ended, and all my vacation days have been spent, nothing feels “done.”

I’m just continuing with the flow of my path, the ups and downs, which this new experience has become part of.

That’s what living a “Reconnective Life” means to me. Our experiences come and go, but they build upon one another, perpetually moving us forward. We have shifts, but nothing is meant to be an escape; our lives are still our lives, and we are still ourselves, though our thoughts and perspectives may be evolving moment-to-moment. I am not a different person because I took a trip, and I wouldn’t be a different person even if I had met with something much larger, like climbing Mount Everest or sitting with every member of the United Nations. To me, having certainty in life means understanding and accepting myself, my path. Reconnective Healing Practitioner Nikki Cox discusses in her blog post the concept of an eternal, “true” self that we reclaim through self-discovery. She states that finding our true self means finding our way back to who we were as kids–who we will always be at heart.

It’s a process of learning and unlearning and learning some more.

This doesn’t mean we don’t grow. I have felt new things, though I am facing the same set of pleasures, challenges, successes and failures as I was ten days ago. Yet, just because I’m “back” doesn’t mean my adventure and discovery has ended. Everything I gained from my travel experience can be applied moving forward. Because I vacationed in Rome alone for a few days, I am no longer hesitant to explore places and discover beauty on my own. Because I navigated public transit in a foreign country, I am no longer afraid of getting lost and asking for help. Because I had to momentarily leave our group to deal with a massive headache, I’ve learned not to worry about “missing out” on experiences, especially if that means taking care of my health first. Every event and situation, regardless of whether it seems favorable at the time, is a lesson and an opportunity for growth, if I allow for it to be. We say it in our courses all the time: with Reconnective Healing, some changes are instantaneous, and more profound change continues to unfold over time. Living a Reconnective Life means living in a state of awareness, confidence and ease. It’s a constancy that isn’t wrapped in an attachment to results, because our results and destinations are always evolving. Our lives are in constant flux; “good and bad” experiences, along with “beginnings and ends,” are what we make of them.

And living with Reconnective Healing means living with the ability to see things clearly, in a way that we make the best of everything. To quote the Semisonic song, “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

By Janet Hu
Reconnective Healing
Foundational Practitioner & Writer/Editor

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