If Only It Weren’t for Other People
(How RH May Help You Deal With Others)
Has this ever happened to you?
You have a vision, a dream that you’d love to fulfill. To think about it stirs up happy feelings, hope and joy.
And then you share it with the wrong person.
All feelings of excitement, hope and joy are gone. All of a sudden, you feel buried under the weight of doubt, guilt and weakness.
If only it weren’t for the reaction of this other person.
That is just one example of how other people can literally ruin our dreams. Many would argue that it is the very reason for their failure. If only these other people didn’t exist.
What opportunities are there when other people talk down to us, criticize and ridicule us or suppress our dreams?
1. We can choose to resist silently or expressively.
Silent resistance means to swallow the pain, anger or disappointment.
Expressive resistance is to choose to do to you as you have done to me. In other words, we agree to fight
2. We can forgive the other person.
This step is very crucial, but often times not enough. What, if we simply can’t forgive the other person? What if we feel so hurt that we don’t want to forgive? Most understand that, in the end, choosing to not forgive hurts only us. Yet the mere knowledge of this isn’t enough. Perhaps, however, we forgive the other person because we don’t want to be vengeful. What remains though is silent resistance. All the negative emotions that we suppress. That’s why I’d like to suggest a third option:
3. We can forgive ourselves.
Self-forgiveness is often underestimated… because we feel entitled and therefore don’t see a need to forgive ourselves. Why should we forgive ourselves if others have treated us poorly? The answer leads us to recognize what has been known for thousands of years and now is also supported by science. Our outer world is a mirror of our inner world. In scientific terms, we have gained the understanding that we are not really manifesting things, but rather choosing one or another option. This is a different discussion altogether and I’d like to return to forgiving oneself…
Of course, each person needs to decide for himself what he makes of these findings. But let’s just imagine that they were actually true. How would criticism, talking down to somebody or negating someone’s dreams shift? They certainly wouldn’t be justified nor lose any of their toxic substance.
What would change, however, is our role.
We turn from victims to decision-makers. Be it consciously or unconsciously, there is a reason why we have decided to opt for a particular situation or experience. And that’s where self-forgiveness comes in.
If we have decided to go for the situation mentioned in the beginning – and let’s not even consider the “why” – that certainly could bring up some resistance in many of us. What’s more, we could possibly blame ourselves. For the most part, such blaming happens unconsciously, because our minds make us believe that we are victims. This all boils down to silent resistance. We suppress our negative emotions and harm ourselves.
Self-forgiveness is best done by forgiving ourselves for having chosen a particular situation or undesired circumstances. This frees us from the burden of negative emotions and, as a welcome side-effect, shifts the dynamics of our outer world.
And what does this have to do with Reconnective Healing?
Reconnective Healing bridges the gap between the limited perspective of the human mind and the ever-present perfection of who we really are. In this light, forgiveness of self and of others becomes our vibration. We all make mistakes and we hopefully all learn and grow from them. The greatest mistake, however, is to remain in self-blame or hold grudges towards other people. It may make sense in the eyes of the ego, but in truth, it keeps us from unveiling our true potential. Reconnective Healing builds the foundation for a new perspective on life – free of judgment and self-accusation. And often we find that guilt, blame and judgment seem to vanish with the Reconnective Healing frequencies.